Random Silly Quotes

To save you refreshing the page many times to get different amusing quotes in small text in the footer of each page, this "quotes" page will present you with twenty quotes each time you load the page.

No, I'm not an elitist. Why do you ask, peasant?

If it ain't broke, upgrade it

Backup not found. [A]bort, [R]etry, [P]anic...

"Bother," worried Pooh, as Eeyore missed another period.

The only problem with mornings is that they happen too early in the day.

A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer and a mop.

Smith & Wesson: the original "point and click" interface.

"These days, about the only thing free of charge is a run-down battery."

Borg Starter Kit: some assimilation required.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

You're gonna hurt all three of my feelings!

Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

He who laughs last is generally a bit slow.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing.

"What the fuck was that?" --- "Mayor of Hiroshima

BEER... It's not just for breakfast anymore.

A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.