Ryanair “standing room only” plans?

by on Jul.06, 2009, under Uncategorized, Wibbles, WTF

Ryanair passengers could soon fly for free – if they want to stand for their journey

Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary told Sky News the low-cost airline was considering ripping out the back few rows of seats on some flights.

Um, what? I’m pretty sure that won’t fly.

The FAA regulations definately require suitable seats with safety belts:

Sec. 121.311 – Seats, safety belts, and shoulder harnesses.

(a) No person may operate an airplane unless there are available during the takeoff, en route flight, and landing —

(1) An approved seat or berth for each person on board the airplane who has reached his second birthday; and

(2) An approved safety belt for separate use by each person on board the airplane who has reached his second birthday, except that two persons occupying a berth may share one approved safety belt and two persons occupying a multiple lounge or divan seat may share one approved safety belt during en route flight only.

(b) Except as provided in this paragraph, each person on board an airplane operated under this part shall occupy an approved seat or berth with a separate safety belt properly secured about him or her during movement on the surface, takeoff, and landing. A safety belt provided for the occupant of a seat may not be used by more than one person who has reached his or her second birthday.

Pretty sure the CAA/JAA will have similar rules.

My first instinct was to check whether this story was published April 1st, but clearly not.

Now, does someone think this will really work, or is it just a PR stunt to get people talking about Ryanair again (much like previous suggestions on charging to use toilets etc)?

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If you’re having a bad day…

by on May.11, 2009, under Humour

Found out about FMyLife from a colleague. If you’re having a bad day, have a read, and I’ll bet you won’t feel so bad anymore.

A few class examples:

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma’s birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey’s legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, “Maybe you should get one for your daughter.” FML

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to “stretching my legs” or “spreading my wings”, I told them I was anxious to start “spreading my legs”. FML

Today, I was driving home at night when I saw a billboard flash “report drunk drivers”. 15 minuted later, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. I got a $150 ticket. FML

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidently drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend’s parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

Today, I was on Facebook looking at pictures of my boyfriend, who was in his friend’s wedding this past weekend. He said that none of the girlfriends could come because it would cost too much for the couple. I spent the weekend alone, and all his friend’s girlfriends are in the pictures. FML

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by on May.01, 2009, under Humour

Just a quick post to link to a couple of new blogs set up by my friends:

  • London Fashion Victim – highlighting excellent examples of Shoreditch twattery – the fine art of people around Shoreditch to make a complete and utter twat out of themselves in the name of “fashion”
  • Mind the Twat – "inconsiderate bastards on the tube"
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Obama’s Essex-girl welcome

by on Apr.08, 2009, under Humour

The US president receives an Essex-girl welcome:


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April Fool’s Roundup

by on Apr.03, 2009, under Humour

Just a selection of April Fools gags seen around the web –

Good stuff :)

There’s probably plenty more to add, mind.

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Lame jokes on Twitter

by on Jan.15, 2009, under Humour

This evening, just for a laugh, I created a script to post short lame (but funny) jokes to Twitter periodically.

Feel free to follow @lamejokes on Twitter for amusement. It also posts as @lamejokes on (or should, now that the account is confirmed…).

Spread the news to anyone that wants amusement ;)

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Selling dodgy DVDs FAIL

by on Dec.22, 2008, under Humour

Fake DVD dealer tries to sell films to trading standards officers

The hapless dealer hoped to make a quick profit after spotting a group of office workers in the Rose and Crown pub in Streatham, south London.

But he made the mistake of offering up to 300 fake DVDs to officers of Lambeth Council who are responsible for cracking down on counterfeit sales.

They showed the man their identification before seizing the discs and his mobile phone. He will be questioned by trading standards officers and police this week.

Whoops :)

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Shit happens…

by on Dec.18, 2008, under Humour, Uncategorized

This is old, and I’ve seen a smaller version of it before, but just for giggles – shit happens, as seen by various beliefs:

(continue reading…)

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