PreshBlog

Humour


OMG ponies.

by on Oct.25, 2008, under Wibbles, WTF

I’m a fan of the Geograph project (in case you’ve not seen it, the Geograph British Isles project aims to collect geographically representative photographs and information for every square kilometre of Great Britain and Ireland).

It seems lots of people on the Horse and Hound forum are getting upset over pictures of horses.
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Economic Models and Business Strategies explained with Cows

by on Jun.24, 2008, under Humour, Uncategorized

Shamelessly robbed from Metcountymounty’s post on Sheepdogs & Wolves (but also seen several times on other sites… yes, it’s an old one :) )

I think Britain most definately fits under the Socialism description here.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes one of them and gives it to your work-shy neighbour.
They laugh in your face.
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Cunning advert

by on Mar.22, 2008, under Humour

An advert from a flooring company, looks quite innocuous at first glance:

Clever advert

But, look at it upside down, cover the lady’s head and glass, and it takes on a whole different meaning….

It looks like this must have been done on purpose – that or it’s a very happy coincidence.

Shamelessly stolen from Khushil’s post :)

(Oh, and ignore the typo on the text someone added – “what do do you see” – heh).

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Friday fun post 2008/03/12

by on Mar.14, 2008, under Humour

OK, finally doing another Friday fun post!

Husband says; “When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me”.
Wife replied; “What makes you think I’d want another man like you!”

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night – or it’s $5 if you make your own bed.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.

“Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.” “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”

Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, “There’s a hell of a lot of steps here.”
The second drunk says, “I’ll tell you what’s worse, this hand rail is bloody low down”

(continue reading…)

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Prick with a fork?

by on Mar.12, 2008, under Humour, WTF

Have to repost this from today’s DailyWTF.

This is suppose to be a real product packaging for some sausages for a supermarket in Ireland, before the supermarket relised the problem and withdrew the product.

Background: Ainsley Harriott is a TV chef in the UK (I think he came over to the US at one point), he’s an alright guy but can be a bit annoying at times, and does get overly excited and irritating on his shows.

Ainsley Sausages

(To start with I didn’t read the instructions at the bottom of the packaging – took me a few seconds to get it :) )

Surprised nobody picked up on it before they went on sale!

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Family (mis)-fortunes

by on Mar.11, 2008, under Humour

OK, these are old, but they still gave me a chuckle.

Contestants from the ITV (UK) Family Fortunes game-show are asked to guess the most popular answers to questions posed in a survey. These are some of the answers given.

I particularly liked:

A bird with a long neck (2): “Naomi Campbell..”

(continue reading…)

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FA supporting criminals

by on Mar.08, 2008, under Wibbles, WTF

Just read this post on 200 Weeks about the FA supporting a convicted criminal.

Ashley Sestanovich was a member of Grays Athletic who play in the Blue Square Premier League. He’s not currently able to play as he is being detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure whilst serving 8 years for conspiracy to rob.

Sestanovich tipped off two illegal immigrants that 11 grand would be at a roofing company. The cash wasn’t there & a 42-year-old father of a newborn was shot, he died 7 months later.

Where does the F.A. come in? They kindly agreed with the player’s appeal against Grays Athletic’s refusal to pay him after his arrest. The club has been fined £500 & told to pay Sestanovich £14,000 within 2 weeks or the club will be banned from the league.

Club chairman, Mick Woodward, said the club would not be paying the money to someone who attended 3 training sessions & played 20 minutes of a pre-season friendly due to being involved in a ‘heinous crime’. He offered to pay the £14,000 “wages” to the victim’s family but the F.A. are enforcing their decision.

Um, so this “footballer” commits a crime, gets put away, and expects the club to still pay his “wages” – and the FA agree with this?

What the hell is this country coming to? I don’t bother with football anyway (especially the Premier league, it’s not about the sport anymore, it’s just a commercial thing), but as “PC 200″said, “if this is not yet another reason to switch support from football to another sport, I don’t know what is.”

Fair play to Grays Athletic for refusing to pay the money to a criminal, and I hope the FA see some sense.

A BBC report on this said:

The FA said because Sestanovich was arrested after he signed for Grays, the club were obliged to honour his contract until he was actually convicted of an offence, under contract law.

Um, he might have signed a contract, but I’d imagine that contract, like most employment contracts, included terms that the contract would be severed if you were convicted of criminal charges. Even if not, if you break the law in a serious way, you no longer deserve the protection of the law.

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Crazy email filtering

by on Feb.21, 2008, under Humour, Uncategorized, WTF

PC 200” posted a blog entry about their force’s email filtering system which made me laugh enough to want to mention it here.

They block inbound attachments, which could be a pain, but is sensible enough.

However, they also block “bad” language (as I’m sure the police don’t get subjected to foul language often, and their poor, delicate sensitivities would be mortally offended by it….) – but then send you an email to report that an inbound mail was blocked, describing why:

You’ll get an email which says something along the lines of “you have been sent an email containing offensive or inappropriate language. The language contained is of a value of 60 points. The word was either one of the following or a derivative of: fuck, fucking, fuckers, mother-fucker, fuck-off”.

So, they’ll block the email containing the word that might offend you, then send you an email containing that word and many other alternatives of it!

And the other thing which intrigues me, is that somewhere in the Home Office a committee has sat around a table wondering how many points to give swear words. You can imagine it. A whole afternoon, or more, debating how many points to give ‘bollocks’. “OK, we’ll give ‘bollocks’ 50 points, agreed?” “No, if we give ‘bollocks’ 50 then we have to give ‘arsehole’ 65, surely”, “Yes, but if we give ‘arsehole’ 65 then we have to reduce ‘wanker’ to 63.” “OK, let’s give ‘bollocks’ 45.” “No we can’t do that because ‘balls’ is 45.”

I’ve been reading his blog "200 Weeks" for a while now, well worth a read.

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